Published on January 7, 2024, 4:03 am

In my younger years, I was quite naive when stepping away from the military. Years were dedicated to understanding leadership, ruminating over situations such as combating gunfire threats and IEDs while monitoring the real news updates from Iraq. I consumed myself with tales of young officers in World War I and Vietnam, the like of which came from Robert Graves, Ernst Jünger, and James Webb. These were my mentors who imparted lessons of war but hardly prepared me for civilian life.

Re-entering society to take a job at a law firm following ten years in military service was challenging. The environment was different; everyone seems privy to knowledge that remained elusive to me – things like how to ask partners for work or clients for money. Once upon a time, I recall taking a call from a widow who had shelled out $100,000 for home improvements which was abandoned halfway by a greedy contractor. Handling this case became paramount until much later when it was revealed that the widow hadn’t cleared her bills – providing an introduction to business unfamiliarities by the senior partner.

In comparison with civilian life where people’s interaction is based on likability instead of trust; it is quite different from being in a combat unit where comrades depend on yourself and others alike with their very lives and push themselves to their physical limits whenever dire situations arise. In the civilian world however, everyone understands that both business and professional relationships are competitive. One common expression often heard is “this isn’t personal, it’s just business” indicating that if you’re seeking trust it may be preferable consulting clergy members or therapists or even considering returning to your military unit.

Upon using the GI bill for law school education; moving back home seemed like a wise decision hence decided to do so prior joining a large corporate law firm which generously assigned me an office without any windows but provided something completely unexpected—a porcelain candy dish shaped like a puppy (hilariously called “puppy pot”), a tradition upheld for new lawyers. For an entire year, this dish was to be filled with M&Ms and Snickers bars for the partners. While I considered this as an opportunity to get acquainted with colleagues better, it turned out that their priority involved billable hours rather than socializing. The candy dish turned out to be a serious subject of interest with follow-up emails revolving around lack of chocolates or the reducing amount in the pot.

Those days seem far away now, water under the bridge so to say. With multiple job changes over time earning experiences, shedding old fears and preconceptions about cowardice and heroism wasn’t easy yet inevitable. There are lessons taken home about survival in the real world where competition can range from something as simple as candies to virtual likes in cyberspace—all these being equally important. But these experiences have developed me into someone who is comfortable and happy at present—these challenging times are nothing more than precious memories.

John J Waters is a renowned author known for his postwar novel ‘River City One’ (Simon and Schuster), having served previously as the deputy assistant secretary of homeland security. His transition from a veteran soldier to a successful civilian beautifully depicts how war has evolved into nothing but treasured memories for many.

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