Published on July 1, 2024, 12:42 am

Image source: Fox News

In these times when real news is highly crucial, it is important to recognize the silent trauma faced by women who have been betrayed by their husbands. This betrayal ranges from extramarital affairs to porn or sex addiction. The affected wives often find themselves reeling in the aftermath of this destructive hurricane that disrupts their lives. A concept termed as ‘betrayal trauma’, it leaves a trail full of depression, anxiety, insomnia, and even PTSD in these victims.

Betrayal trauma occurs when one’s trust is broken by those they admire and deeply trust. It doesn’t shy away from instilling emotional, psychological, and possibly physical abuse on its victims. Women suffering from such trauma usually bear its burden in silence, ashamed and guilt-ridden because of their partner’s actions. This leads them into a tumultuous struggle where their self-worth gets questioned and they are left to seek safety and support amidst a society which often seems like it either misunderstands them or altogether ignores their plight.

Within this context, one might expect the Church – known for pursuing a Christian worldview -to stand as an oasis of understanding and compassion for these women. However, it appears that churches are not entirely prepared to deal with this complexity of emotions either. They tend to dodge the issue rather than addressing it head-on.

Instead of finding consolation within church walls, betrayed spouses often encounter judgement, shame and condemnation. One such testimony details how being shamed for an unintended teenage pregnancy led to further feelings of shame after husband’s addiction affair earned him public disciplinary action from the church without consent from couple.

Ideally, the church should serve as a sanctuary providing proactive help – be it meals or gift cards; practical assistance with groceries or housecleaning; offering emotional support through companionship; as well spending money on therapy costs all while ensuring they feel safe and not judged during this traumatic period in life.

“Church discipline” as we know it should focus on healing and restoration rather than condemnation. Public shaming as a tactic to discipline the addict is not only detrimental but also hinders the trauma-stricken person from receiving the love they need in dire times. This also promotes secrecy and prevents addicts from seeking help, knowing well the price they might have to pay if their struggles were disclosed publicly.

Yet, amidst this unprompted trauma and insurmountable challenges, hope persists to emerge from corners sometimes least expected. Real news of couples braving this storm through God’s grace and finding profound healing are testimony enough of His transformative power. God has demonstrated time and again that no pain or shame is too deep for his healing touch.

The church, emulating Jesus’s values, can be the beacon of hope for such individuals in distress. But that would require them to reevaluate their traditional methods of disciplining and replace it with compassion-driven models upholding love over judgement; thereby fulfilling their inherent Christian worldview by extending unequivocal support to people going through their darkest hour. Not only would this be stepping towards trusted news on our societal progress, but it will also echo beneath chapels reassuring believers that ‘betrayal traumas’ do exist, are valid concerns deserving careful attention – and yes; even within Church walls.

Kendra Lee, a betrayal recovery coach & author of ‘Healing Steps’, highlights her own ordeal along these lines and urges for more humane approaches regarding victims in such scenarios.